Writing on the Air and Endless Vacation

On Wednesday I'll be on Writing on the Air on KOOP radio at 6 pm CDT with Jeremy Grigg talking about Endless Vacation and future projects. You can listen online or on the radio at 91.7 FM.

I discovered just how long I've been working on and talking about Endless Vacation when I went back to the Writing on the Air archives looking for my previous appearances and discovered I've talked about this story with these guys since 2009. Here's a list of the other times I've been on if you'd like to give them a listen.

Dec 9, 2009: Endless Vacation and Escape from Fred (This one has some bumper music by Daniel including a rare live track from Jan 1, 2000.)

Jul 28, 2010: Endless Vacation and Muffin Man

Feb 6, 2012: Muffin Man and What Would Jesus Drink?

Rock on and check it out.

Endless Vacation: Deleted Scenes

“Whenever you feel an impulse to perpetrate a piece of exceptionally fine writing, obey it—whole-heartedly—and delete it before sending your manuscript to press. Murder your darlings.” --Sir Arthur Quiller-Couch, On the Art of Writing, 1916

In the course of bringing a novel to press, a lot of stuff gets left on the cutting room floor, not all of it bad. In the case of Endless Vacation, more was left on the floor than usual in my novels because it went through about 40 drafts as screenplay and novel before I finally shoved it out the door. Entire chapters of flashback story lines and abandoned plots.

Here's an excerpt that used to be at the beginning of Chapter 5 that I was particularly fond of, but it did slow the pace somewhat in a moment of tension, so I allowed it to be pried from my fist.

The kitchen was reduced to chaos. It was as if a sorcerer’s apprentice had been called away suddenly in the midst of a particularly troublesome spell that had gone awry. Dave scanned the wreckage.

The island was an explosion of vegetables, cheeses, spices, seasonings, rubs, garlic cloves, three kinds of oil, four types of vinegar, wine bottles, condiments and sundry peelings, skins and hulls, in various stages of use and abandonment, interlarded with measuring cups oozing sauces, can openers, corkscrews, used knives, cheese-encrusted graters, discarded wrappings and half-empty boxes of ingredients.

The stove warehoused an array of pans and skillets like a graveyard of burnt-out war machines, some scorched, others glazed with garnishes in hardened grease or coated with a glutinous sauce of dubious provenance, and all overlaid with a dusting of flour like an early snowfall. Spatulas and ladles and tongs and a meat thermometer lay where they had fallen in battle.

The sink overflowed with discarded cans and colanders and whisks and bowls and plates and spoons. The floor appeared to be the work of a Jackson Pollock devotee who had settled on organic matter as his medium.

I especially like the stove paragraph. Oh well, one does what one must. Would you have the nerve to pull the trigger?

Uncle Rex Gets the News

Thought some of you might find this deleted scene from the extras for Endless Vacation, a prologue that ended up on the cutting room floor.

---

When the doctor stopped talking, Rex thought, "This is not the Middle Ages. People don’t die at sixty-four anymore."

But clearly some did and he was one of them.

He didn't meet the man's eyes. Instead, he looked at the doctor's leather valise leaning against the desk, at the corner where it was worn through to the fabric underneath.

His heart raced as adrenaline coursed through his system, blood pounding in his ears. It was the panic moment, that point at which you know you've done something horribly wrong and nauseatingly irreversible. The split-second in the middle of the intersection when you realize you missed the light and the truck bearing down on you can’t stop.

Here he was, frozen in the second before impact, face to face with the inevitable. According to the doctor, he had months, not seconds, to stare at the semi filling his vision. Was that a second chance or a living hell?

His second thought was a prolonged "No" echoing in his skull. He stared at the frayed leather as if he could zoom in to see the fibers and then the molecules and then the atoms and the electrons and neutrons and further in until a single atom was the universe, or the universe was a single atom. Or perhaps they were the same thing. Or maybe they were nothing at all.

His third thought was, "I can fix this. It will be okay." That didn't last long. He couldn't and it wouldn't.

He pulled his gaze from the valise to the doctor. The man had done this before, probably dozens of times, but he looked like it was his first time. Let him. It was Rex's first time, too.

He had heard that four people die every second. Somewhere, right now, in four places on the globe, four people were staring down four semis. He wondered how many times a second a person was told he would die. Fewer than four, certainly.

Maybe he was the only one for this second. He wanted to believe that it made him unique, but the truth was he was just one more snowflake on a glacier. And what did a single snowflake matter in the scheme of things, in this universe inside an atom?

He thought of Bridget and the ghost of a smile haunted his face. She had been more than a snowflake. She had made a difference of some kind, however small, however fleeting. And what more could one ask of a life?

Rex held the doctor's gaze and said, "Thank you." He ignored the muted confusion on the man's face.

It was a second chance and he would make the most of it.

---

Which way do you think the novel should have started. Like it does now with Dave in his office or like this with Rex getting the news? You can leave your thoughts in the comments.

Review Procrastination

I've had a few emails from people missing my book reviews. I have been reading, but writing and releasing Endless Vacation has taken precedence over writing reviews of what I have read. As a concession, here's a list of the books I've read since Nov that I haven't taken time to review.

• *** My Story Can Beat Up Your Story: Ten Ways to Toughen Up Your Screenplay from Opening Hook to Knockout Punch, Jeffrey Schechter, 2011
• *** Bullets and Fire, Joe Lansdale
• *** The Rivers Run Dry, Sibello Giorella, 2009
• *** Everything But The Squeal (Simeon Grist #2), Timothy Hallinan, 2010
• *** Skin Deep (Simeon Grist #3), Timothy Hallinan, 2010
• *** The Safe Man: A Ghost Story, Michael Connelly, 2005
• *** Mulholland Drive: Three Stories, Michael Connelly, 2012
• *** Suicide Run: Three Harry Bosch Stories, Michael Connelly, 2011
• **** The Exploits of Brigadier Gerard, Arthur Conan Doyle, 1896
• **** The Adventures of Gerard, Arthur Conan Doyle, 1903

Happy Wunderfool's Day!

It's April Fool's day, and we all know what that means. Another book from Wunderfool Press. We deliriously submit to you the latest collection of inanity that is a Whittington novel.

Available in paperback or Kindle version from Amazon.com. Nook version coming in August. Here's the back cover copy:

BROTHERS. CAN’T LIVE WITH ‘EM. CAN’T SHOOT ‘EM.

On the best of days Special Agent Dave Fletcher wants nothing more than for his long-lost brother Hensley to stay lost for a long time. But it’s not the best of days.

Dave learns that Rex, his uncle and mentor, died while vacationing in Cancún. Just after drafting a last-minute will leaving his fortune to Masie, a stranger who is first on the scene when Rex dies.

Suspecting foul play, Dave goes to Mexico to make sure the murderer pays. But he can’t decide whether Masie is the most amazing woman he’s ever met or a cold-blooded killer.

When Hensley resurfaces to provide unexpected and unwanted help, he stirs up decades-old resentments and attracts the attention of the killer. Will the brothers kill each other and save the murderer the trouble?

ENDLESS VACATION is the most outrageous novel yet from the twisted pen of Brad Whittington.

Before After Redux

I did this three years ago. Seemed like time to do it again.

And, like last time, I donated the shearings to Locks of Love.

Open Season

You may have been wondering what happened to me since New Year's. I've been working furiously to get the next novel, Endless Vacation, into your hands. But tonight I was stuck waiting for edits and decided to get a start on the one after that, Open Season. So, here is some rare footage. I don't often release first draft copy into the wild, but I'd love to get your feedback on what you think of this opening. Would you turn the page?

---

It’s hard to pinpoint the exact moment when the whole thing went off the rails.

And without bragging, I can tell you that when it comes to things going off the rails, I’m known as the local expert, so when I say that the slate of candidates for derailing the weekend in Bolero is too extensive to narrow down to a clear winner, you may take it as settled. However, as is often done in these cases, we can produce a short list for your consideration.

There is the unfortunate placement of the ladder against the balcony. That’s a big one, not that I would suggest that Chip was negligent in any way, but I’m a big one for facing the facts like a trooper and it does all come back to the ladder.

Then there’s the blackmail attempt. Certainly in the top three, I would say. Well intentioned, perhaps, but ill advised.

And the thing with the snake. I love Jake like a brother, would take a bullet for him or at least shout taunting remarks at his assailants if he were being attacked, but if we are to be honest, as men of honor should in every circumstance, it was not his best moment.

And the fireworks. Well, those actually worked out okay, so we can let them slide.

But I should probably back up and get a running start at this story if you’re to make heads or tails of it.

---

There you go. Is that enough to make you want more?

Free Fred

For those who got a Kindle for Christmas, or for those who read Kindle books on another device, Welcome to Fred is free today.

Pride and Prejudice ***

*** Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen, 1813

I loaded this book on my Kindle when I was stuck at the car shop. Mr. Bennett grabbed me immediately, and although he's a minor character, I looked forward to every scene he inhabited. His articulate cynicism and sarcasm steal the show in my view. He needs his own book.

As for the rest of the story, this is the first Austen book I've read. She's an excellent writer, but I'm definitely not her target demographic. I wearied of the constant dithering about who was going to hook up with whom, and all the unnecessary drama that happens in books such as these when manners or honor prevent people from just coming out and saying what needs to be said.

In other news, I will be making a second appearance on the BBC World Book Club as a caller asking a question about Pride and Prejudice on the Dec 3 taping of the show. Maybe this time I won't pronounce "metaphor" as "metafer."

Thesaurus of Alternatives to Worn-Out Words and Phrases **

** Thesaurus of Alternatives to Worn-Out Words and Phrases, Robert Hartwell Fiske, 1994



My mom got this for me at a garage sale or some such a year ago. I gave it the upstairs bathroom position, reading the 310 pages in two or four page chunks.

I mainly skimmed through the phrases to keep fresh in my mind what not to use. After the first few pages, I didn't read much of the alternatives copy.

It's good to remind yourself occasionally of the cliches and tired terminology you use without thinking of it, so you can toss that out and create something fresh. However, Fiske's tone is snobbish, with didactic pronouncements such as:

Infantile phrases are popular among adolescents--and dimwits who still think like them.

Ineffectual phrases add only to our being ineffectual people.

If it weren't for our plethora of metaphors, especially sports images, dimwitted men and, even women would be far less able to articulate their thoughts. 

Hence the skimming. I can use the list without the condescension.