The Open Season Reading Test

TAKE THIS SIMPLE TEST to determine whether you should read Open Season.

What do you do when you read the following sentences?

1. Her brothers had tried to teach her to play pool back in Louisiana, but it was all about angles and she was never good at geography.

1. Laugh.
2. Say, “Hey, there’s a typo. I think you meant geometry.”
3. Look up geography in the dictionary.

2. It wasn't a simple question to answer, not like “How many fingers am I holding up?” or “What’s the square root of two?” and his hesitation left a lull in the conversation into which Zoe leapt.

1. Laugh.
2. Say, “Hey, is that a typo? You know the square root of two isn't one, right? It’s not an easy question. Maybe you meant square root of four?”
3. Say, “The square root of two is 1.414.”

Now score your results.

If you answered A, congratulations, Open Season is the right book for you.
If you answered B, set the book down and back away slowly without making any sudden moves.
If you answered C, further study is required. Read the sample.

A Poem a Day

If there's one thing I would recommend to everyone, it's to never give advice.

I used to give advice. Back when I was young and stupid and knew everything. But after watching several disasters flower from people taking my counsel, usually interpreting it in ways I never would have imagined, I swore it off. I could tell you stories, but there are several people who would have to die first, and that's not practical.

The thing is, you never have to explain something you didn't say.

But I'm going to break that vow right now and advise something. Read one poem every day.

It doesn't have to be some serious, stuffy poem. It can be light and fun, like Ogden Nash, or zany and divergent, like Barbara Hamby, or wry and witty like Billy Collins. Or reflective or romantic or whatever suits you. But I do recommend mixing it up.

This is especially good advice for writers, but is also good for anyone who likes to get a fresh perspective every once in a while.

Here's the nice thing. APM and Garrison Keillor have made it easy.

Writer's Almanac

You can go to the website and either read or listen to the five-minute show, which starts with events of note on this day in history and concludes with a poem. Or if you prefer, you can listen to it on a radio station in your area.

If I don't catch it on the air, then I click Listen while I'm eating my Cheerios every day.